Aging Baby Boomers Need and Demand One-call Home Care Services

The demographics of America are changing – and fast. There is a growing population of aging baby boomers who are savvy, smart and independent, and they know they have choices for their future lifestyles.

The statistics show that this population is on the rise. In 2003, there were 36 million Americans who were 65 and older; by 2030 it’s projected that this population will grow to 71 million. And an AARP study from 2005 found that 89 percent of people 50 and older want to stay at home as long as possible.

To do this, our aging U.S. citizens will likely need assistance in many areas such as housekeeping, yard upkeep, home maintenance, and, in some cases, relocation to new homes or care facilities.

These people, whether they are in need of physical assistance or are busy traveling during retirement, will need others to help them take care of things at home.

With this trend, a unique business opportunity is now flourishing – a “one call resolves it all” home care services for seniors.

It’s an ideal time for investors to capitalize on this new business trend. That’s exactly what Kim and Paul Abelman did when they decided to start a business.

The Abelmans found their new business in Spectrum Home Services. Spectrum is part of a national growing industry offering personal home care for older adults and busy homeowners.

But Spectrum Home Services is different from traditional home care service companies. They are simply one-call away for people who need a broad spectrum of services including housekeeping, yard care, maintenance, companionship and relocation services. Other companies offer a few of these types of services, but not the number of services available through Spectrum.

The Abelmans are happy to offer this service to area seniors and other busy homeowners through Spectrum Home Services.

Kim Abelman shared that “people who choose home care can find it frustrating making calls for numerous services. Many of our clients were calling a handyman for broken items around the house, a yard service to mow their lawn, a home cleaning service to do their laundry and a nursing service to make sure their medication is taken on time.” One call to the Abelman’s Spectrum Home Services fulfills all these needs and more.

In September 2006 they purchased franchise rights to Spectrum Home Services in New Albany, with the guidance of franchise consultant and expert, Barney Greenbaum.

Greenbaum works with clients in the Ohio market through the national organization, FranNet. Using FranNet’s proprietary process, he matches his clients with the right franchise using safety, risk avoidance, high standards, and affordability as criteria.

“My job is to act as first a facilitator to help find the business that matches their requirements, then I coach them along with helpful resources, such as financing, franchise attorney, and accountant, once they find a good fit. We spend 30 to 60 days on the search with a well thought out action plan. My goal is for the client to find the right tools to make the process less scary, and help them reach those important goals,” Greenbaum explained.

He demonstrated this trend in the home care service industry to the Abelmans. “With 10,000 people now turning 60 every day the baby boomer generation will need more caregiver services than the caregivers can easily provide,” said Greenbaum. “Paul and Kim wanted an affordable business they could grow, while maintaining a balance with their family, work, spirit, and health. Working with active seniors on home care projects allowed them this flexibility.”

The Spectrum Home Services approach to home care drew the Abelmans to this business. They discovered that Spectrum was for them after reviewing several other business options.

“We knew that the eventual goal for this business is to provide services that are very much needed,” Kim Abelman said. “We ‘got’ the concept after meeting with Greenbaum and going through the FranNet process.”

The Abelman’s also wanted something that would give back to the community. “We work closely with families and do everything they need done – trash, cleaning, clearing out for Goodwill, running errands,” Abelman explains. “We’ve become like family for many of our clients.”

Abelman says she “liked the networking and marketing aspect of Spectrum. To reach people that need the services, I do in-service programs with discharge managers in hospitals and at realtor meetings. As a former college lecturer, it’s easy for me to put [our business] into words. I’m okay going out and meeting people to teach about this new concept of senior home care.”

With no other franchise like Spectrum in the area, the Ablemans are getting a lot of calls for the services they offer. They’ve also experienced a rise in the number of younger, busy homeowners who call. Some companies are even offering Spectrum Home Services as part of employee benefits to help working families.

Greenbaum enjoyed matching the Ableman’s with Spectrum Home Services and summed it all up: “At the end of the day they added some value to someone’s life, and occasionally they might even get a hug for it.”

To learn more about FranNet in the Columbus area, contact Barney Greenbaum at

614-882-7777 or call 1-800-FRANNET.

Adult Children, Aging Parents: When Caregiving Roles are Reversed

Her daughters grown, 42-yearold Georgette Smith faced a new challengecaring for her disabled mother. Chronic emphysema sapped what little strength remained in the 68-year-old womans frail, wheelchair bound body. The care needs were overwhelming. Georgette began to look for relief by checking out a nearby nursing home. On that fateful day, when she overheard Georgette discuss the nursing home with a friend, the mother responded quickly. Suddenly the conversation was frozen in time by a single bullet that severed Georgettes spine and rendered her paralyzed. Shirley Egan shot her daughter because she feared confinement in a nursing home. Shirleys new home became the Orange County Jail. The Smith-Egan story is true.

Although the circumstances are extreme, it reflects the dilemma adult children face trying to balance the needs of aging parents with other life demands. A survey by the National Alliance for Caregiving (NAC) discovered that more than 22.4 million U.S. households (1 in 4) care for an older relative or friend or have given such care within the past year. The value of family caregiving exceeds 200 billion dollars.1 Daughters and daughters-in-law are the primary caregivers for older adults, even though many of these middle-aged caregivers still have children or teenagers at home. Caregiving concerns are reaching more and more families. Listen to the water-cooler conversation and you are as likely to hear a co-worker seeking adult daycare options as finding after-school programs. The percentage of Americans over age 65 has tripled. The fastest growing population group is over age 85. As older adults live longer, increased longevity results in greater likelihood of exhausting assets, outliving a spouse, and losing potential for independent living. The high costs of long-term care prompts many families to provide shelter and caregiving in the home. The pressures of this economically driven trend toward family caregiving has given Baby Boomers a new title: theSandwich Generation,â caught between the demands of children and aging parents.

For Christian Baby Boomers, parenting their parents is more than an economic necessity; its an expression of faith. If we do not provide for our relatives, and especially for our immediate families, we have denied the faith and are worse than unbelievers (1 Tim. 5:8). Even under the best circumstances, the escalating needs of aging parents and the nsacrifices required of adult children present both challenges and blessings.

Caregiving Challenges

As long as Mother is mentally alert, she wants to stay in her home. Physical problems are the greatest threat to independent living. Approximately five million older adults need help withactivities of daily living,â such as bathing, food preparation, medication, shopping, and money management.2 Giving direct assistance or hiring a care aide along with regular telephone contact and visits may extend Mothers ability to live independently.Dont most older adults go to nursing homes for care assistance?â NO! Only 4% of persons over age 65 receive long-term care in a nursing home. The majority (67%) live in the community with spouse, children, relatives or in assisted living facilities. The remaining 32% of older adults live alone.3My wife and I must work five more years to get full retirement benefits, but my father cant stay alone all day.â Depending on the level of care, the older adult may participate in community senior programs, attend adult daycare, or require a care aide. A time limited option available to some individuals is the Family and Medical Leave Act (1993), which allows an employee in a company with 50 or more employees to take up to 12 weeks unpaid leave a year to care for a family member without losing job security. Some companies allow flextime to retain experienced workers.

Our home wasnt built for caregiving. How can we make it safe?â Many adaptations are simple and inexpensive. For example, rearrange furnishings to make clear paths within and between rooms. Add handrails in the bathroom and hallways. Replace doorknobs with lever handles. Ask

your physician to recommend a home evaluation by an occupational therapist for a wealth of safety and mobility enhancement tips.My husband doesnt understand the stress I have dealing with menopause, teenagers, and an aging parent.â Caregiving families must share the primary caregivers load, so that she also has time to be a wife, mother, and individual. Intergenerational families are most successful when each person has responsibilities in the care process suitable to his or her skills.

A teen can read or offer to write letters for a grandparent while the parents go out. The spouse may bring home deli dinner on the night Mom goes to Bible study. Another relative may be called to stay with the older adult when the parents attend the teenagers soccer game. Primary caregivers need time alone and with others to return refreshed for routine caregiving duties.I love my Mom, but Im overwhelmed as a single parent. How can I care for her?â

Providing direct care is not always possible. Distance, the need to work, absence of spousal or sibling support, and lack of patience are all reasons to find other care options. Look for the least restrictive care suitable to the needs. Choosing an assisted living facility, maintaining contact with the staff, frequent visits, or hiring a geriatric case manager keeps adult children involved in the

care decisions.

Caregiving Blessings

Scripture speaks the heart cry of older adults:Do not cast me away

when I am old; do not forsake me when my strength is goneâ (Ps. 71:9).

The bond between an adult child and an aging parent was forged from the

crib. Today, that adult child functions as a parent to the aging parent. Few are emotionally prepared for these role changes. Counselors and pastors can show caregivers how to find the blessings in these changes for themselves and their families. Accept the role changes as functional

rather than intrinsic. The medical, financial, and daily care decisions made by the adult child are for a limited time. A lifetime of being

Daddys girl or Moms beloved son transcends present infirmities. Picture dependence as an extension of trust. An aging adult often feels powerless in so many ways. Looking to the adult child for guidance, the love and trust between parent and child comes full circle. Be honest with the entire family about caregiving responsibilities. Becoming a caregiving home affects the whole family, not just the primary caregiver and care receiver. The most successful caregiving families periodically shift the duties, regularly spend time away from caregiving, maintain outside interests, and find ways to include the care receiver in normal family activities. Balance demands with delights. So much caregiving interaction is repetitious. Take help from telephone psychologist.

Find ways to share time for treats with the care receiver. Pack a picnic lunch for the patio. Watch old movies together. Read aloud the comics or a humorous book. Seek emotional support. Caregiving with no end in sight can be physically and emotionally exhausting. The primary caregiver who sees this role as a ministry may feel too guilty to express the frustration and anger that is being suppressed in the line of duty. Find an appropriate support group where the caregiver has a safe place to verbalize concerns. The primary caregiver may also need individual counseling to deal with any past conflicts or resentments toward the care receiver. Share spiritual connections. As the older adult gains strength from spiritual expressions, so the entire family grows from shared faith. Move the family altar to the care room. Invite the pastor and Christian friends to visit for evening prayer. Sing old hymns. Reminisce about faith-affirming events such as dedication of children, baptisms, and marriages.

Plan a time after breakfast or before dinner when the entire family gathers to pray for one another. Choose whether to be caught in the middle or active within the center. Thinking of yourself as asandwichedâ caregiver reinforces a trapped image. In reality, the primary caregiver is like an air traffic controller, the center of all activities, directing services that sustain the care receiver. Caregiving in the Community of Believers Caregiving is an intense experience. Caregiver and care receiver have to be free to express their deepest concerns to a willing listenerpastor, counselor, friend, or relative. Communication within the caregiving family and with an encouraging church spreads an understanding of how adult children and aging parents find fulfillment and spiritual growth in their final years together.

Epilogue

Georgette Smith won court approval to remove life support. Shirley Egan was at her daughters side. Reports say that with dying breaths, the daughter and mother shared forgiveness. Mrs. Egan was acquitted on August 18, 1999, of attempting to kill her daughter. Her lawyer said that Mrs. Egan was involuntarily intoxicated from prescription drugs and didnt intend to shoot her daughter.

Adult Children, Aging Parents: When Care giving Roles are Reversed

Her daughters grown, 42-yearold Georgette Smith faced a new challenge caring for her disabled mother. Chronic emphysema sapped what little strength remained in the 68-year-old woman’s frail, wheelchair bound body. The care needs were overwhelming. Georgette began to look for relief by checking out a nearby nursing home. On that fateful day, when she overheard Georgette discuss the nursing home with a friend, the mother responded quickly. Suddenly the conversation was frozen in time by a single bullet that severed Georgettes spine and rendered her paralyzed. Shirley Egan shot her daughter because she feared confinement in a nursing home.  Shirley’s new home became the Orange County Jail. The Smith-Egan story is true. Although the circumstances are extreme, it reflects the dilemma adult children face trying to balance the needs of aging parents with other life demands. A survey by the National Alliance for Care giving (NAC) discovered that more than 22.4 million U.S. households (1 in 4) care for an older relative or friend or have given such care within the past year. The value of family care giving exceeds 200 billion dollars.1 Daughters and daughters-in-law are the primary caregivers for older adults, even though many of these middle-aged caregivers still have children or teenagers at home. Care giving concerns are reaching more and more families. Listen to the water-cooler conversation and you are as likely to hear a co-worker seeking adult daycare options as finding after-school programs.

The percentage of Americans over age 65 has tripled. The fastest growing population group is over age 85. As older adults live longer, increased longevity results in greater likelihood of exhausting assets, outliving a spouse, and losing potential for independent living. The high costs of long-term care prompts many families to provide shelter and care giving in the home. The pressures of this economically driven trend toward family care giving has given Baby Boomers a new title: the Sandwich Generation, caught between the demands of children and aging parents.

For Christian Baby Boomers, parenting their parents is more than an economic necessity; its an expression of faith. If we do not provide for our relatives, and especially for our immediate families, we have denied the faith and are worse than unbelievers (1 Tim. 5:8). Even under the best circumstances, the escalating needs of aging parents and the sacrifices required of adult children present both challenges and blessings.

 

 

 

*Care giving Challenges*

As long as Mother is mentally alert, she wants to stay in her home. Physical problems are the greatest threat to independent living. Approximately five million older adults need help with activities of daily living, such as bathing, food preparation, medication, shopping, and money management.2 Giving direct assistance or hiring a care aide along with regular telephone contact and visits may extend Mothers ability to live independently. Don’t most older adults go to nursing homes for care assistance? NO! Only 4% of persons over age 65 receive long-term care in a nursing home. The majority (67%) live in the community with spouse, children, relatives or in assisted living facilities.

The remaining 32% of older adults live alone.3 My wife and I must work five more years to get full retirement benefits, but my father cant stay alone all day. Depending on the level of care, the older adult may participate in community senior programs, attend adult daycare, or require a care aide. A time limited option available to some individuals is the Family and Medical Leave Act (1993), which allows an employee in a company with 50 or more employees to take up to 12 weeks unpaid leave a year to care for a family member without losing job security. Some companies allow flextime to retain experienced workers.

Our home wasn’t built for care giving. How can we make it safe? Many adaptations are simple and inexpensive. For example, rearrange furnishings to make clear paths within and between rooms. Add handrails in the bathroom and hallways. Replace doorknobs with lever handles. Ask your physician to recommend a home evaluation by an occupational therapist for a wealth of safety and mobility enhancement tips.

My husband doesn’t understand the stress I have dealing with menopause,

teenagers, and an aging parent. Care giving families must share the primary caregivers load, so that she also has time to be a wife, mother, and individual. Intergenerational families are most successful when each person has responsibilities in the care process suitable to his or her skills. A teen can read or offer to write letters for a grandparent while the parents go out. The spouse may bring home deli dinner on the night Mom goes to Bible study. Another relative may be called to stay with the older adult when the parents attend the teenagers soccer game. Primary caregivers need time alone and with others to return refreshed for routine care giving duties. I love my Mom, but I’m overwhelmed as a single parent. How can I care for her?

Providing direct care is not always possible. Distance, the need to work, absence of spousal or sibling support, and lack of patience are all reasons to find other care options. Look for the least restrictive care suitable to the needs. Choosing an assisted living facility, maintaining contact with the staff, frequent visits, or hiring a geriatric case manager keeps adult children involved in the care decisions.

 

 

*Care giving Blessings*

 

Scripture speaks the heart cry of older adults: Do not cast me away when I am old; do not forsake me when my strength is gone(Ps. 71:9). The bond between an adult child and an aging parent was forged from the crib. Today, that adult child functions as a parent to the aging parent. Few are emotionally prepared for these role changes. Counselors and pastors can show caregivers how to find the blessings in these changes for themselves and their families. Accept the role changes as functional rather than intrinsic. The medical, financial, and daily care decisions made by the adult child are for a limited time. A lifetime of being Daddys girl or Moms beloved son transcends present infirmities. Picture dependence as an extension of trust. An aging adult often feels powerless in so many ways. Looking to the adult child for guidance, the love and trust between parent and child comes full circle. Be honest with the entire family about care giving responsibilities. Becoming a care giving home affects the whole family, not just the primary caregiver and care receiver.

The most successful care giving families periodically shift the duties regularly spend time away from care giving, maintain outside interests, and find ways to include the care receiver in normal family activities. Balance demands with delights. So much care giving interaction is repetitious. Find ways to share time for treats with the care receiver. Pack a picnic lunch for the patio. Watch old movies together. Read aloud the comics or a humorous book. Seek emotional support. Care giving with no end in sight can be physically and emotionally exhausting.

The primary caregiver who sees this role as a ministry may feel too guilty to express the frustration and anger that is being suppressed in the line of duty. Find an appropriate support group where the caregiver has a safe place to verbalize concerns. The primary caregiver may also need individual counseling to deal with any past conflicts or resentments toward the care receiver. Share spiritual connections. As the older adult gains strength from spiritual expressions, so the entire family grows from shared faith.

Move the family altar to the care room. Invite the pastor and Christian friends to visit for evening prayer. Sing old hymns. Reminisce about faith-affirming events such as dedication of children, baptisms, and marriages. Plan a time after breakfast or before dinner when the entire family gathers to pray for one another. Choose whether to be caught in the middle or active within the center. Thinking of yourself as a sandwiched care giver reinforces a trapped image. In reality, the primary caregiver is like an air traffic controller, the center of all activities, directing services that sustain the care receiver. Caregiving in the Community of Believers Care giving is an intense experience. Caregiver and care receiver have to be free to express their deepest concerns to a willing listener pastor, counselor, friend, or relative. Communication within the care giving family and with an encouraging church spreads an understanding of how adult children and aging parents find fulfillment and spiritual growth in their final years together. Christian Counselor is always available to help you out.

*Epilogue*

Georgette Smith won court approval to remove life support. Shirley Egan was at her daughters side. Reports say that with dying breaths, the daughter and mother shared forgiveness. Mrs. Egan was acquitted on August 18, 1999, of attempting to kill her daughter. Her lawyer said that Mrs. Egan was involuntarily intoxicated from prescription drugs and didnt intend to shoot her daughter. Take help from telephone counseling.

Aging, Elder Care, and Senior Retirement Centers

There was a time, not that long ago, when a senior citizen could plan on living with an adult child as the years took their relentless toll. Now senior retirement centers are popping up seemingly everywhere.

It’s a good idea to take a look at why these changes are taking place and how each of us can best fit into this new pattern of elder care.

The most glaring difference today is the prevalence of working women. Even a few decades ago, a full-time homemaker often had the time and energy to care for an aging parent in her own residence. Many homes boasted a “mother-in-law” apartment in the basement, over the garage of somewhere else on the premises. In many economic, social and religious groups it was a matter of pride to “care for one’s own”. In addition, there were few really appealing options beyond that ethic.

The reason there are so many senior retirement centers today is not just the lack of wives at home to take on the responsibility of geriatric care, there is also a preference surfacing in the seniors themselves. No matter how welcoming the environment is, a private home usually doesn’t offer the stimulation and peer relationships that the new senior retirement centers are providing. Many seniors frankly want to choose their own support-oriented residence.

If incomes are high enough, savings are adequate or HUD and Medicaid benefits are available, it can be a win/win situation. Full calendars and new friendships can replace the isolation that living in another person’s home can produce. Even the most loving adult child is usually busy with the demands of a full life of his/her own. What can ensue is mutual independence.

Not all senior retirement centers are supportive. Careful investigation needs to be done to find a match. However, the rewards that come from putting some serious time and effort into the search can be great.

As this cultural change develops, a surprising factor is surfacing. At one time, the dread of making such arrangements kept seniors from moving on until it was absolutely necessary. What we are starting to observe is a trend involving seniors moving into these new facilities earlier out of choice. Enthusiasm is replacing fear and years of active, support-oriented living can be the unexpected bonus.

Those who doubt the wisdom of selling their homes and moving into a senior retirement center are visiting friends who have made just such a choice. They often find that the pros outweigh the cons. As the new centers appear, competition is emerging and the units, amenities and perks become increasingly attractive. It’s getting to be a “don’t knock it if you haven’t tried it” situation with positive results.

Sleep and Aging – How to Minimize Detrimental Aging Effects

It could be that you are not getting enough sleep Many people are unaware of the fact that their need for sleep doesn’t decline as they age.

Getting enough sleep is still a critical factor even if you are using an anti aging technique. There is nothing we can do about the fact that the body is going to age as the years march by, but the amount that aging affects your health and physical appearance can be controlled to some extent .Choose to reduce the signs of aging improving your health by getting proper sleep , regardless of the plan you choose.

In a revolutionary anti aging health guide, Dr. Ronal Klatz, MD, DO with Dr Robert Goldman report that the sleep needs of humans remain constant throughout their lives. However, the kind of sleep people get can vary from person to person. Some people are able to function perfectly on 6-7 hours of sleep, while others need more than 8 hours of sleep a day. Sleep and Aging studies have shown that retired individuals spend less time in delta sleep and younger people spend a greater amount of time in deep sleep, but REM sleep is constant throughout life.

Sleep Is Critical for Longevity

Sleep is necessary for your body to heal and improve.Sleeping properly allows enough energy and resources for cell repair and natural growth. For these reasons, it’s essential to the fight against aging that you give your body the sleep it requires to maintain your overall health and the health of your skin.

Do You Sleep Enough?

We have been advised that for proper rest each day, 8 hours of sleep was needed. However, research studies that were done as early as 2002 have suggested that the perfect amount of sleep may be six to seven hours for adults. Keep in mind, that some people will need more sleep than others, but it’s pretty easy to determine if you’re sleeping enough or not.Feeling Great after your sleep experience or struggling trying to get some extra time to sleep?Without proper rest, your body and mind just will not function normally. To help you find ways to get more sleep, we’ve included some tips that might help you fall asleep faster.

Avoid eating anything at least two hours before bedtime, including sugary snacks. When foods ingested increase your blood sugar , watch out you’ll probably stay awake too long.

Listen to soothing music, the sounds of nature or even the digital pattern of white noise. It also helps to meditate right before bedtime.

Avoid watching TV before bedtime. This stimulates the mind and keeps you alert and thinking. Instead, find a relaxing activity such as reading to do before going to bed.

Sleep And Aging

Adequate sleep is critical for those people using any anti aging methods or that need to generally improve their health.Prove it to yourself by going to bed eartly , rising with plenty of rest. You will also find that it perfectly compliments any techniques you are using to fight the signs of aging.

Adopting An Aging Pet

Adopting a senior pet can be just as rewarding, if not more, as bringing a puppy or kitten home from your local shelter. There are some great benefits to adopting an aging dog or cat and most health issues surrounding senior pets can be easily overcome.

Mike Fry, Executive Director at Animal Ark Shelter in Minneapolis, MN shares his thoughts about adopting senior pets. His shelter has several successful programs to encourage people to take home an older pet.

Q: What are the reasons that older pets do not get adopted as easily as puppies and kittens?

A: I think, primarily, it is due to misconceptions about older animals.  That old myth “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” is part of a greater notion on the part of many people that adult or older animals are set in their ways.  Plus, puppies are just so darn cute that they pull at people’s heart strings very easily. People can fall in love with a puppy simply by seeing its picture.  An older animal may take some time to meet and connect with.  They are, however, well worth the time spent!

Q: What are the benefits to adopting senior pets?

A: Very often these dogs and cats come well trained!  That whole phase of chewing, potty training and terrorizing can be bypassed by adopting older animals.  The older animals require less exercise, less energy, less food, and are generally a LOT easier to ease into a home.  Plus, because an animal’s personality is somewhat determined genetically, and is not fully expressed until adulthood, it is often easier to know what personality a dog will have if an adult dog is adopted. Additionally, senior citizens who adopt senior dogs find they have lifestyles that are more consistent with the needs of senior pets. Adopting a very senior pet does not involve making a 20-year commitment, something some seniors are not prepared to do.  However, they may be able to make a 3 – 6 year commitment. And a senior pet is perfect in that case.

Q: Why do senior dogs and cats make good companions for senior citizens?

A: Research has proven that people with pets live longer, happier lives.  The health benefits of owning pets can extend a person’s life and dramatically increase the quality of life.  I have heard many seniors say that a pet gives them something to do each day, which is important if you are retired, have no kids at home, etc.  They provide love, activity and stimulation.

Q: How does a senior dog’s health play into the situation?

A: As a general rule, I don’t think health is a big problem.  The general ailments of older animals are fairly easy to overcome.  The key is to get people to connect with an older pet. When they do, the minor ailments of age usually mean little. An animal in pain can, understandably, be more aloof, or downright cranky.  We have observed, therefore, some general personality changes in dogs when we put them on FlexPet with CM8. This helps them to present their “best side” when meeting perspective new families.

There are lots of misconceptions about adopting older animals and since puppies and kittens are so precious, it’s easy to see why people migrate to them. But Mike suggests taking the time to meet older animals and connect with them.  They are well worth the time spent!

For more information on Animal Ark Shelter and the programs they have available, check out their website.

Positive Aging: How not to be Just Another Old Lady

Copyright (c) 2008 Lin Schreiber

Knowing the work that I do as a Retirement Coach, a friend recently asked me if I had any suggestions for “how not to be just another old lady.” It was an interesting question, and I’ve given it a lot of thought in light of the fact that many mornings I wonder who is that aging woman staring back at me in the mirror?

It’s true, I’m looking more and more like my mother (and luckily NOT like my grandmother who was the kindest, most wonderful woman in the world, but in every photo looks like an ax murderer). But as the neck on my skin starts to let loose, the crow’s feet around my eyes deepen and slide down onto my cheeks, and my salt and pepper hair is looking more salt than pepper, and frankly a little dull, I feel a terrific disconnect with the inside me.

I don’t feel like I’m getting older. I feel like I’m getting better – smarter, wiser, and calmer. I’m more enthusiastic, energized, engaged, joyful, at peace, content — hopeful about the future, and excited about all the options and opportunities now available to me. Granted, I probably couldn’t be a prima ballerina, even if I ever wanted to (which I didn’t) but there’s so much more I want to see and do and be before I die.

It saddens me so to see once gorgeous women (i.e. at the Academy Awards) become caricatures of themselves with the desire to hang on to youth at any cost. Positive aging is not about tightening and smoothing the external package by erasing our history, it is about deepening and enlivening the internal package by celebrating that history, and using all that we’ve learned, and sharing our wisdom.

If you’re serious about not becoming just another old lady, forget the nipping, tucking, and Botoxing yourself into oblivion, and follow these four rules:

Refuse to accept society’s view that you’re over the hill. So what, if conventional wisdom says that aging is about decrepitude and death. Certainly we’re all headed to the same inevitable place (yes the dreaded “D” word!), but who in the heck says we have to stop living before we get there? My dream is that as a generation, we change forever how future generations think about, plan for, and live in this next stage of life. Never again will aging be equated with being over the hill. Old ladies think they’re over the hill, and they are. You don’t have to go there.

Refuse to live a traditional retirement of only rest and leisure. Yes, getting enough rest is important, and leisure is a necessary break from our work, but if we’re not working, and we just have a steady diet of leisure, leisure and more leisure, how healthy can that be? How you live in this next stage of life — formerly known as retirement — should be as unique as your thumbprint. Old ladies buy into the traditional retirement model, and never experience the enlivening affects of purpose and passion. You don’t have to live like that.

Refuse to be warehoused with “old” people. Now, I don’t have anything against retirement communities per se, but it seems to me they’re just another — more glamorous — way of warehousing us as we age. Connection is essential at all stages of development, but never more so than as we age. I laugh when I think about my father-in-law’s reaction to moving into independent living at 83: “There are only old people here!” His interest in life diminished greatly when he left the community where he was actively and continuously interacting with younger people. Old ladies contract into and cut themselves off from interconnecting with the “outside” world. You don’t have to.

Refuse to act your age…whatever that means. A look in the mirror aside, don’t fall prey to what’s expected of you as you age. You know, like “take it easy” or “you should” or “you shouldn’t” or you fill in the blank. One of the perks of aging is to let it all hang out. That means being authentically yourself in all our curiosity, enthusiasm, interests, and adventures. Give up looking good, for living life fully. Old ladies act like old ladies. You don’t have to act — just be yourself.

One more thing: absolutely, positively stop thinking of yourself as an old lady. You can be, each year, a new and improved version of you with more wisdom, clarity, peace, joy, love and delight.

How to Plan For Aging Parents

Alternatives to Pricey Retirement Homes

It happens to everyone with parents. One day, it will be time to take care of those who raised you. Retirement homes have long been the choice for busy families that don’t have the time or the room to care for their folks. But there are other options. If you plan ahead, you hook your mom and dad up with an agreeable living situation that will make you happy, them happy, and will not break your budget.

I recently quit my job at a retirement home. By all appearances, it was a very nice retirement home. The first thing you saw when you walked in was a large elegant dining room, a winding staircase, and a grand piano in the middle of a sky-lit atrium. The average age of residents was eighty five years old, and while it was considered “independent living” most of the residents were dependent. They depended on staff to prepare them three meals a day, they depended on the bus driver for transportation (since many had given up driving) and they even depended on an activity director to schedule ways for them to pass their time (that was my job). These services were selling points for the facility, and families were willing to pay an average of four thousand ($4,000) dollars a month so mom and dad could play bingo and bridge in a nicely furnished community. Because this facility was considered independent living, the rent did not cover health services.

In the year that I worked there, I got to know many of the residents. They confided in me. I learned that many of the seniors never really felt like it was their home or even a suitable replacement. Despite the extravagant landscaping, it was still institutionalized living. A lot of them hated the food. Some were even pretending to be happy just for their children. OK, some old folks are just cranky, and you can’t please them no matter what. But regardless, I couldn’t help the feeling that in many ways, retirement homes are completely unnecessary and even a waste of money.

In today’s tight economy, it’s time to be creative and resourceful when it comes to finding a home for Mom and Dad. Rather than committing your parents (or grandparents) to expensive retirement institutions, consider these housing alternatives.

Make room at home (Seriously.)

Up until the second half of the 20th century, this is how people lived! Multiple generations lived under one roof. Make room in the basement. Convert the garage into another bedroom. Or simply plan ahead now and buy a bigger house than you need. Ever notice how big houses were in the 19th century? That’s because families actually lived together. They were much more unified than they are today. In the old days, it was not unusual to have granny answer the door in her curlers. In fact, in many households, grandparents had an important and useful role in the family. I’m not sure what changed, but somehow Americans became embarrassed by their elderly relatives. It’s time be proud of our families again –no matter how senile they may be!

Of course having your parents live with you works extremely well if you actually get along with them. I lucked out having really cool folks. But it can be done even if you have differences. Just make sure you have enough space for privacy. My parents are not even retired yet, but my husband and I have decided that our next house will be designed to accommodate them when the time comes. We will have an in-law suite (on the first floor of course) or a separate cottage on our property. It’s important to make sure the space is accessible with walkers and wheelchairs. In my opinion, it’s never too early to consider a house with extra space for aging relatives. You can always make use of the space in the meantime by renting it out, hosting an exchange student, or housing your teenage kids.

Buy the house next door (Hire home health care services as needed.)

Keep property in the family. On a business trip in Greece, I made friends with a local colleague. Before going out to dinner, she invited me to her brand new condo to meet her family. Her family lived in separate condos, but literally owned the whole building. Her great grand parents lived in the condo on the first floor, her grand parents lived on the second floor, her parents lived on the third floor and she had just gotten the deed to the fourth floor where her and her new husband lived. Why pay over four thousand ($4,000) dollars a month on a small apartment in a retirement home, when you can purchase the house next door (or the apartment below you?) Most mortgage payments are considerably cheaper than rent at a retirement community and plus your money goes toward an investment. Not to mention the sense of true independence this will provide your parents. Old people like to have their own things too.

Understandably, some seniors need special care. In this case you can hire a home health service! There are enough services out there for you to choose from a la carte. Many private health services provide drivers, nurses, and housekeepers as needed. Decide what services you and your parents really need to spend money on and employ a private company. There are many such services. You can find them online or just go to your nearest “independent living” retirement home and look through the multitude of home health care brochures. Otherwise, if your parents are close enough, you can provide meals for them and take them shopping. Of course there may be a time when seniors require full-time nursing care for serious illnesses, but in the meantime, why pay for three meals a day at Sleepy Hollow Retirement when you can keep real estate in the family?

Encourage your parents to move to a big city. (Especially a city you would want to visit!)

For the more active retirees, there are options for adventure. If you have the kind of parents that can’t stand to be still, you may consider packing them up and sending them off. The complaint I heard to most when working in a retirement home was how much the residents missed their cars. They hated giving up their wheels and missed being able to go wherever they want when they want. Subsequently, there is an increasing trend of seniors moving to large cities so they can take advantage of public transportation. While many people have sprawled out to the suburbs, it makes sense for driving impaired seniors to choose an urban setting. living in the heart of a metropolitan area means you don’t need a car, plus there are many things to do and see.

Send your parents to college.

If your parents have an active mind, think about getting them a dorm on a college campus. That’s right, some colleges are now catering to seniors and even offering free classes and discounts on amenities such as golf and tennis. Who needs bingo night when you can take a French class, go to a football game, or see a theatre performance? Research has shown that mental activity may prevent dementia. So, for those seniors considering an “institutional lifestyle,” they may as well choose a college campus over a retirement home. The cost of senior dorms vary. Depending on the housing package, some dorms may be just as expensive as retirement homes. But hey, if you plan on forking out rent for a home, renting a room on a lively college campus sure beats the activity department of any retirement home.

Help your parents escape the country.

Retiring abroad may be an appealing choice for seniors who are looking to stretch their dollars. If they insist on enlisting in a retirement community, look at places like Mexico. In fact, many retirement homes in Mexico cater to the American market. One major pitfall of course, is that you won’t get to see them as often. But look at it this way, you’d have a cool place to visit. A few years ago, a lady from England made news for choosing to live out her golden years on a cruise ship. 86-year-old Bea Muller of Florida was aboard the Queen Elizabeth 2 in 2000 when her husband died. She didn’t want to move back home to live alone and she didn’t want to live in a retirement home. So, she decided to sell everything and book herself for a world cruise one year at a time. In her case, with all the amenities, it actually worked out cheaper than assisted living.

Of course there may be that rare instance where your parents insist on living in a retirement home. They may actually want to have a 400 square foot apartment, collect “funny money,” endure Elvis impersonators, and rely on a one-size-fits all activity calendar for fun. But this is doubtful. Most people want to remain as independent as possible for as long as they can. Most people want to be an active member of a family or community. No matter how old and senile, there are certainly plenty of options for giving them that opportunity outside a cookie-cutter retirement home.

Caring for Aging Parents

Who typically cares for mom and dad as they age?  Research studies indicate that it’s mostly women, usually daughters that become the care-givers for aging parents. Recent estimates report that 34 million Americans serve as unpaid caregivers for other adults, usually elderly relatives, and that they spend an average of 21 hours a week helping out.  One of the most important things you can do to help yourself and your family through this transitions is to plan ahead.  So let’s take a look at some the issues you might be facing.

Increased Financial Burden

AARP estimates that unpaid caregivers spend an average of $2,400 a year on care for their elderly.  Those who put in more than 40 hours a week spend as much as $3,888 of their own money each year. You will need to prepare for this either individually or as a family.  One of the best ways is to have a conversation early on with your parents about what monies they have designed for retirement and how it can be accessed when needed.

The Emotional Consequences

Caregivers typically experience significantly increased levels of stress and restricted social activities.  They report having one or more chronic condition such as high blood pressure at nearly twice the rate of all Americans.  91% report being depressed.

This is easy to understand if only one person is responsible for all of the caregiving.  It’s important to manage these duties between several members of the family and/or friends if possible.  If money permits, hire outside caregivers that have been carefully screened.

This is also a time of life when your parents aging can be the cause that unlocks your family’s hidden (or ignored) dysfunctions.  Tempers may flare over seemingly inane situations – often about money.  If need be, hire a third-party to come in and mediate family meetings.  Someone has to remain objective with the eye on the primary goal of taking care of your elderly parents.

What becomes extremely important is how the caregiver communicates to his/her elderly. Getting old is hard enough and when children have to tell their parents that they are worried about them living alone, it can be uncomfortable for everyone involved. Where will your parents live as they age?  How do you tell them that they can’t drive any more?  No one prepares us for these kinds of conversations.  Again, planning for the future is key to easing this process.

Talking to Older Parents About Independence

Unfortunately the issues won’t go away if you ignore them.  So the best way to deal with these inevitable changes is to plan in advance – before any problems arise.  A study done by AARP magazine found that most parents feel better about having this kind of discussion when things are going well. 

When talking to your parents it’s ok to be direct just not confrontational.  Always remember to notice how they are feeling (vs. how you are thinking or feeling or how you think they feel).  For example, say to your dad, “My friend Paul’s father is giving up driving.  How would you like to get around when you can no longer drive?”  Or, “Mom, you seem unsteady on your feet.  How can we protect you from falling and hurting yourself?”

Don’t be afraid to share your feelings about the life changes your parents are going through.  Say to Mom, “You have always been so independent and I can only imagine how hard it is for you to ask for help.  I just want you to know that I’m here for you whatever you need.”

If your parents are resistant to talking about their loss of independence, be assured that this is normal.  They may tell you to mind your own business, so be patient and respect their feelings.  You have to remember to keep treating them like equals.  Make conversation another time unless the issue of their health or safety is at immediate risk.
  
You might need to hold a family meeting where everyone can discuss their concerns jointly and develop a plan that is agreeable for all.  But make sure that your parents feel a sense of involvement and that they still have some control over their own lives.  Listen to their opinions and recognize their right to help make decisions.  Sometimes your parents will make decisions that you don’t agree with.  You have to deal with that yourself.  Make a list of the key issues you need to cover including money, living arrangements, activities such as yard work, doctor visits, and taking prescription medication.

Always remember to be kind.  Not just to your elderly, but also to yourself if you are the caregiver.  This can be a challenging period of life, but with acceptance and planning, it can go a lot smoother.

Additional Resources
  
Ideas for simple home modifications that can help parents remain at home http://www.aarp.org/families/home_design/

Resources for caregivers developed by the Administration on Aging
http://www.aoa.gov/prof/aoaprog/caregiver/caregiver.asp

A free searchable database of a wide variety of community services for older adults http://www.eldercare.gov/Eldercare/Public/Home.asp 

An online directory of adult day centers
http://www.nadsa.org/

Books You Can Read

American Medical Association Guide to Home Caregiving
American Medical Association, Angela Perry (Editor); Wiley, John & Sons, Incorporated, 2001. http://www.amazon.com/American-Medical-Association-Guide-Caregiving/dp/0471414093/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1207873318&sr=1-1 
 
And Thou Shalt Honor: A Caregiver’s Companion
Beth Witrogen McLeod (Editor), Bob Condor, Rodale press, 2002
Written for the caregiver with advice from experts and experienced caregivers on all aspects of providing care
http://www.amazon.com/Thou-Shalt-Honor-Caregivers-Companion/dp/B000GYI1VA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1207873353&sr=1-1

For more information go to http://www.fishing-yellowstone.com 

Healthy Aging: What role does socialization play?

Educating care providers and informing families currently caring for loved ones is one way Always Best Care Senior Services is insuring homebound seniors are receiving the quality care they deserve.  With this in mind, Ryan Engar, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for Always Best Care, teamed up with Fran Wilby, PhD, Assistant Professor, Executive Director of the W.D. Goodwill Initiatives on Aging and O. William Farley PhD, Professor at the College of Social Work University of Utah to write an article and training guideline for Always Best Care Senior Services care providers and family members on the importance of socialization.

 

The aging population, nationally and worldwide, is at the forefront of people’s thoughts today.  Developed nations worldwide are experiencing an “aging boom” as people are living longer.  Nationally, estimates are that the number of people aged 65+ will grow to 80 million by the year 2050 with the fastest growing group being those aged 85+ ( U.S. Census Bureau, 2004).

 

With increased longevity comes increased number of years in retirement.  As the demographics of our nation shift, family members caring for their aging loved ones will no longer be enough help to adequately care for our senior population.  More and more families will begin to invite caring professionals into their homes for assistance.  It is for this reason Always Best Care Senior Services exists.   For the past 14 years Always Best Care has been welcomed in many homes in effort to improve not only the quality of life of the individual receiving the care, but the quality of life of the family members as well.  By the year 2040, people who live until 65 years old can expect to live an additional 15 to 20 years—thus spending 21% to 23% of their total life span in retirement (Smeeding, 2010).  If these numbers seem astounding—it is even more astounding to wonder what people will do with this time.

 

With retirement comes withdrawal from normal work cycles and work relationships.   Although many older adults handle the transition from work to retirement well, others experience emotional difficulties during this phase of life.  The loss of contact with close colleagues and the loss of a sense of purpose in life can lead to increased social isolation and bouts of depression.   Additionally the burden of chronic disease can make normal routines difficult and strain financial resources.  So what roles does socialization play in maintaining health and wellness through retirement and beyond?

 

Socialization plays a large role in maintaining quality of life as one ages.  Research has shown that those older adults, who have strong social networks, seem to have a higher quality of life, live longer and are healthier compared to those with little social support (Glass, Mendes de Leon, Marottolie & Berkman, 1999).  Also, studies have shown that strong social support seems to protect against cognitive decline and self-reported disability (Mendes de Leon, Glass, & Berkman, 2003).  The “use-it or lose it” theory seems to be true—social engagement may stimulate multiple body systems including the cognitive, cardiovascular, and neuromuscular systems.

Social engagement also seems to be an active coping strategy as well as reinforcing life long patterns of connections to other people and resources (Barnas, Pollina, & Cummings, 1991).

 

Given the importance of socialization to healthy aging—what happens to those older adults who do not have strong social networks and social support?  Numerous factors can impact the social networks of older adults—smaller family sizes and mobility of family members—leaves many older adults isolated from family help and resources.  Those older adults who live past 80 years old find that many of their friends and in some cases family members have passed away—leaving them more isolated and alone.  Chronic disease can affect an older person’s ability to leave the home to engage in social activities.  Limited transportation options for those who no longer drive can leave them isolated in their homes. It is in these cases where the many services that Always Best Care  provide mesh perfectly to provide not only vital assistance to maintain their clients health and safety, but also addressing problems caused by isolation.  Always Best Care provides an opportunity for friends and family to reunite through transportation as well as an opportunity to socialize and form meaningful relationships with people who genuinely care for them within the walls of their own home.

 

As a society we are poorly equipped to deliver help to older adults who are isolated in their homes.  The creation of community based programs is a dire need now and will become more essential as the aging population strains social programs.  One such program, developed at the University Of Utah College Of Social Work by Wilford Goodwill and O. William Farley, is the Neighbors Helping Neighbors program (NHN).  NHN is a non-profit organization whose mission is to improve the health, safety and quality of life for community-dwelling seniors through the promotion and maintenance of independent living.  NHN strives to enable older adults to reside in the community for as long as possible while training social work students and community volunteers.

 

In Utah, as well as in many other communities throughout the nation, caring individuals have responded to our aging population’s cry for help.  In many cases it only takes a little help from an outside source to keep an older adult at home whether that outside source is a family member or a care provider from one of the many home-care agencies created to address such needs.  In the growing number of cases where family member’s responsibilities pull them away from hands-on service to their loved ones, agencies such as Always Best Care are able to customize the amount of involvement they have in an individual’s life in effort to maintain their quality of life.  Remaining within the home where memories were formed, with a little assistance from a care provider, enables an older adult to remain in the community with dignity and without suffering from the consequences of social isolation.  It is up to our society to step-up and create the kind of services that will enable older adults to remain in their homes, without isolation, if that is what they chose.

 

 

 

Next Page »